The other day I was speaking with one of my mom friends just chatting it up about life. You know how the conversation goes…how are you, how are the kids, what are you up to these days. Same ole, same ole. But after talking for a few minutes, she noticed that I seemed somewhat frustrated. She was right. So once I started sharing my true feelings and let it all out she made me feel so much better by saying that she could relate to what I was going through.
Most of you may not know that I was a teacher before getting married and having a family. When I went off to college I had already buried my dream of being an actress. (That’s another blog post) I decided that I could be a pediatrician and help save children. Then, I wanted to be a pediatric pharmacist. However, after failing organic chemistry twice, I decided to teach cause I could still help save kids and not have to take out anymore student loans, lol. The message is that I never planned on being a SAHM! I am sure most of you SAHM didn’t either. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. It is a blessing to be able to be home with them and attend every possible activity in my power. But what happens when the kids get older and don’t need you as much? Then what? It’s something that I think more and more women are discussing these days. I think it was Glenn Close’s Golden Globes speech that really struck a nerve. She shared the story of how her mom at 80 felt like she hadn’t accomplished anything in life even though she kept up her home, raised amazing kids, grandchildren and supported her husband. She felt empty.
What I learned from that was that it is never too late to start to follow your dreams and do the things that you love. You may miss a game or two. You may not be able to host parent meetings at your house or attend every field trip but it is okay. You have to find personal fulfillment and follow your own dreams too. So, if you are beating yourself up over not being where you want to be… give yourself a break. You are doing an amazing job and the kids will one day appreciate that you did your own thing too. Take small steps towards your dreams but just keep stepping. I am writing these words to you guys but also to myself. For years I have suffered from severe mommy guilt. Fear of missing my daughter’s first 20 point game or my son’s game winning shot. Not being there when they call home sick or so busy that I can’t be there for homework, activities or doctors appointments. But, I am learning each day to give myself a break and I hope that you will too. Here are three of my favorite affirmations to remind you of your greatness and if you want something, go for it! YOLO! (You only live once)
XO,
Sharonda