My daughter asked me the other day when was I going to be the real me? At first I got a little offended. I was like what do you mean? She was talking about my hair. I have been wearing hair extensions off and on since my twenties. I explained to her that most of the women around her like her aunts, grandmas and their friends wear wigs or extensions when they get older. Some due to health issues, hair loss and some are lazy like me. I don’t have a lot of time to do my natural hair and my daughters hair too. Been there done that. But I heard a deeper question. When are you going to be the real you?
The real me is exhausted from the trials of life. The real me has been faking it till you make it for years. Not just in business, but in life. I settle sometimes because well it is just easier. The real me has been trying to fix things and people for so long that I really have no control over. All I can do is pray and ask God to fix it. When I was a little girl growing up, all I wanted to do was to get married and have kids. I really didn’t plan or see anything else. I went to college and got a degree in education because I loved kids. I was a natural born leader and nurturer. Besides, that’s what all of the women in my family did. We became teachers. I mean I dreamt of acting in plays and modeling but I always thought I was too short or blamed my scoliosis for not dancing more and doing the stuff that I really loved. But where did I get that from?
The question lingered in my mind for days. When are you going to be the real you? This struck a nerve because it had come up before during yoga and meditation. So I asked myself out loud who is the real you? The real me loves butterflies, the beach and nature walks. I love dance, yoga, corny jokes, lasagna and corn on the Cobb (btw, I haven’t had any in years because I heard that it wasn’t good for you) The real me is a little goofy and avoids large crowds most of the time. The real me has been playing it small out of fear. Fear that I may disappoint those around me or fail and have to start over again. The real me has been a people pleaser all of her life. I was watching a video training by Gabby Bernstein and she said that when we live authentically we will find our tribe. I immediately thought that maybe that is why my tribe comes and goes, it is a reflection of me. Sometimes I let people in but never get to close out of fear. Fear of abandonment.
I was very hesitant about sharing this post. I didn’t want to disappoint my following. But the truth is I think we all get a little comfortable behind the mask. Well, I am hear to tell you that it is okay to embrace your imperfections and even share them if you like but the most important thing is to acknowledge them and make the effort to be happy. Whatever that means to you. If it means taking a dance class, buying a wig, auditioning for a role that you might or might not get, journaling, or finding a more fulfilling job. Do it!! Find what makes you happy! But don’t just find it. Do it. Every single day. Be YOU, do YOU, for YOU because in the end that is all you got!!!!
You hit alot ot nerves with this one. #self #truth #freedom #real #happy
A beautiful TRUTH!
Kathy Greene says
Amen. My mantra for today as well. Be you, do you, love you like nobody else can!
Every single day!!!
Stephanie Farrington says
I love it! These thoughts have been running through my mind a lot lately. Fear gets me everytime. #behappy
Shirley Webb says
Very seldom do I read long literature. However, once I started reading this I couldn’t stop. You brought out so many important things to think about. Being you is being real, doing what’s good for you, doing what makes you feel good. If wearing a wig does that, then do it. If driving a new car does it , then do it. Whatever makes you feel good, is good for you, and that is real,
What an inspiring message! I too had questions about finding my happy and I am on the right track now. I spent many years focusing on making others happy forgetting myself, but now that I am older I realize I need to focus on me. I do hope your readers especially the younger group will come from under the mask and start enjoying life.
That is awesome Sylvia!!!!!
This was amazing !! I felt alot of myself in your words. Thanks for sharing, for caring and for willing to be vulnerable in hopes of inspiring and empowering yourself and others!!! I Loved this from start to finish. 😘
Ronald Butler says
That was absolutely beautiful and amazing my beautiful daughter. The greatest gift in life is discovering who you really are and your purpose. And, that is to do GOD’S Will ! And you are doing a wonderful job of helping others and spreading all of the love within you to the world and your family.
Lots of Love
Wow, I love this post. It is deep and so true. Gives a lot of food for thought. I need to print it out and reflect this summer.
It’s crazy because I always wanted to do dance, but it was never offered where I was from and I never pursued it beyond that and I always thought of modeling but didn’t think I was pretty enough or tall enough
Being able to be the real you without fear of rejection or fear of ridicule is a very hard thing these days. As a woman, one tends to wear so many hats that we find ourselves buried under all of them. Only when we learn to love who we are as indiciduals,(not as Mom to so and so or wife to so and so or CEO of such company), but YOU, sonwe experience that much sought after happiness and freedom.
Absolutely LOVED that I am not alone on this boat and that your powerful daughter has brought it to our attention.
Many blessings to her!
Thank you for sharing! Great piece, very sincere and honest. I really liked it. My young daughter is always paying close attention to what I do. Its amazing how they look at us, and at times with one small comment they send us on a soul search. Tnx again
I loved it! We sometimes fall into roles, specially as moms, that are not really who we are. We dont even realize it most of the time. But over time we start to lose ourselves and that is when resentment sets in, you begin to feel angry for the YOU you lost, you abondoned and gave up on. We all go through this but you must reclaim your YOU if you are to be truely happy.
Great point Attie!
Those words are truly inspirational and words everyone should live by . Thank you
Maria Elena says
Beautiful message and eventhough I do alot of things I love to do, most of the time I forget to embrace who I really am. I know I could be playing larger and don’t out of fear of what people will think! Thanks for reminding me to go for it!!
I think it is something that we just get comfortable doing, right ? But the greatness is outside of our comfort zone!!! Thank you Maria Elena! XOXO
Loved this blog!!
Yes, Just BE instead of BEcoming! #unapologeticallyYOU
Remi Roberts says
Loved this post Sharonda! Thank you for sharing so candidly. I think something happens when we become wives and mothers and we lose ourselves into our families . It’s a delicate balance between nurturing our families whilst also making time for ourselves. I’m on the journey with you. Making time to do more of what makes me ‘me’!
Thank you so much Remi! XOXO
Christine Hartsook says
Love it Sharonda!! Miami is very materialistic and I think many people portray or try to portray a perfect life. Pleasing everyone and keeping everyone at a distance. Authenticity is such a beautiful thing as are you! Keep loving yourself and butterflies sister!!! And be real every day.
I really appreciate this post. Last sentence especially. Thank you!
This was amazing! It really hit home for me. We are always trying to please others and we take the backseat! Love the article!!!!
Twila Vance says
Wow. I need this today. You have inspired me with your powerful words. Thank you.
Must be a trait of the name we bear……I definitely get it !!! ❤️
Thank you all for your kind words and reflections!!! XOXO
Maxine Fredericks says
Great stuff, You nailed it.