The other morning I had breakfast with one of my friends who is expecting her second child any day now. She expressed her concerns of being a new mom of two under 3 and asked me how I did it. My response was simply to ask for help. Asking for help may be the hardest thing to do for women. We are natural born nurturers and most of us ok I will speak for myself here, want things done our way. Because our way is the best way, right?
First Time Mom
When I was a new mom I read so many books, took a bunch of classes and made long lists of things that I would do and wouldn’t do. I had it all planned out and well let’s just say things don’t always go as planned. From breastfeeding to co-sleeping to selecting the pediatrician it was not easy but like all other phases of motherhood you have to do what works for you. Please remember that mommas. Your mom, mom friends, grandma, aunts, cousins might not always agree on your parenting choices and that is perfectly okay. My number one rule as a mom is to always trust your gut.
The Juggling Act
Life as a mom of one is probably the hardest part. All of a sudden you have this tiny little human to nurture, feed, protect, educate and basically take with you almost everywhere that you go including the bathroom. I will never forget placing the infant carrier in front of the shower with the shower door open just so I could bathe. But a momma has to do what she has to do. From this moment on it is no longer about you, it is all about the baby. Before you know it you have this mom thing down pat and baby number two is on it’s way.
My second pregnancy was a lot different from the first. I was so busy running around with my daughter that I really didn’t pay attention to the discomfort, weight gain, and exhaustion. We traveled a lot because my hubby played baseball. I became a master packer, willing to nurse anywhere (with the proper cover up) and able to make friends practically anywhere cause I really didn’t have a choice. I literally blinked and my son was here and now I was a mom of two. They are 27 months apart. Some people said to wait until they would be at least three years apart and now I know why. The diapers. Two kids in diapers is expensive and a lot of work. Oh and if you think that you didn’t get much sleep before, having two little ones meant even less sleep. It’s just a phase though it gets better, I think lol.
You Got This
I was a pro by the time the third baby came home. Our surprise bundle of joy came exactly 28 months after her big brother. She was delivered via cesarean at 39 weeks but had to spend 10 days in the NICU. It was so tough on me. I didn’t understand why this pregnancy was any different than the first two. I did everything the same the whole pregnancy. Between having the two other little ones at home and leaving her in the NICU, I struggled for a few weeks. I asked for extra help this time. We hired a live in nanny for the first three months. It was a total disaster. It was so bad that I promised I would never hire help again. (That’s another blog post) Now we had a four year old, two year old and a newborn. I drove my Momma Bus (Infiniti Q56) and kept a double stroller until they got too heavy for the stroller.
Up until this day there is never a dull moment. We are always doing something. I am always at a doctors appointment, meeting or shuttling kids around to sports activities. My hubby is retired so he is home and is very hands on. The best part of having them close together is that they are very close. They still like the same things. The oldest one still plays with the younger ones and they don’t mind sharing. They are fun, happy, loving kids that leave their mark wherever they go. They look after each other and are truly one another’s biggest fan.
Count Your Blessings
One thing that I do struggle with is trying to make sure that I spend enough one on one time with each one of them. That can be very challenging. Each kid is different and have their own needs. One needs more cuddling. One needs more help with homework. The other needs space to just be themselves. It is going by so fast. Seems like yesterday I was pushing a double stroller with one hand and holding my oldest with the other hand. Now they are 13, 11 and 8.5! Parenting three back to back ain’t easy but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.